Posts Tagged ‘Forgiveness’

Day 7: Matthew 5-6 – Forgiveness

Thursday, January 7th, 2010

My step-father was a mean man.  Alcohol drove his life.  When he was sober, he was a nice guy, and that was not too often.  But when he was drunk, I learned to stay clear.  I remember him putting me in the car and driving down the road as fast as he could.  He would laugh as he looked at me to see how scared I was. Just pure meaness.  I would come home from school and find my mother beaten and I learned to be a man and stand in between him and my mom and take on someone twice my size.  I called the police, I argued with him, and I once even had to evade a knife attack.  I guess the good thing was with the alcohol in his blood stream his reaction rate was poor.  I learned to hate this man.  I despised him.  My rage would boil within me anytime I would hear his name or see him.  Thankfully, he was out of my life for many years, until one day while I was working in a retail store, I saw him.  I hid and watched him from behind an ailse.  My rage returned and I thought it might be time to see if he could go toe-to-toe with a man his size and not a young boy. 

The only problem is that I had become a Christian and now the temptation was being tempered with Jesus’ words to forgive.  In the back of my head ran the words that if I did not forgive then I would not be forgiven (Matthew 6:15).  Like Peter, I realized that I was denying my Lord and in that retail store, I heard the cock crow three times.  I ran away.  I struggled for a while trying to deal with my hatred and a desire to try to forgive that seemed impossible.  I knew it was time to forgive my step-father but he didn’t deserve it, but I guess neither do I, or even maybe you.  I forgave my step-father, I still hate the awful things that he has done but I pray that his demons might be replaced by the love of God.  I hope he finds peace.  He is dead now and I hope he makes it to heaven.

Question: How about you…do you struggle with forgiveness?  I think we all do….read Matthew 6:14-15.