Several months ago I walked into my doctor’s office suffering from terrible headaches. I had endured them for several months and did everything I could to cope with the pain. After weeks of testing and different remedies I sat in the waiting room thumbing through magazines and listening for the telltale signs of the doctor about to enter the room. The doctor finally arrived and sat down and told me it was time for a CAT scan. Here’s what took place next…
Me: Doc, what are we looking for?
Doctor: Matt, I think you may have a brain tumor.
Some of you may know that feeling. Some of you may not. For those of you who have, I think that you will agree that nothing will make your heart sink any lower. For those of you who haven’t heard those words, I pray that you never will. What she said isn’t what I heard. She said she “thinks” I might have a brain tumor. I heard, “Matt, you’re dead.”
I got in my truck and steered for my house. How will I tell Leah? Should I tell Leah? What would happen to my girls? They are far too young to be without me. How would my parents and sisters take this news? Who would officiate my funeral? Where would I be buried? Brothers and sisters, before I got home I figured I was as good as dead and I already had one foot in the grave.
But I wasn’t.
The CAT scan showed nothing but a whole bunch of scar tissue from years of being a football player and general idiot. I wasn’t going to die of a brain tumor. Praise God!
Turn with me to Acts 20:17-38 and read along. Here we see the Apostle Paul in a very different light. This is surely a man with one foot in the grave. Read how full of sorrow he is and how much he fears that when he dies that the church will be ripped apart (Acts 20:25-31). He is a man resigned to the fact that the end is near. Yet his heart is focused solely on the work of the church and his commitment to Jesus Christ. Yet, much like my situation, Paul didn’t die then. In fact, Paul did return to Miletus (2 Timothy 4:20) and lived several more years, yet his focus never changed. His service to God and his determination to preach the Gospel of Christ remained at the forefront of his heart.
When death seems imminent, we focus on the things that we hold most dear. I may live for another fifty years or another fifty seconds — I have no idea. However, the lesson I learned was that I must live my life in a state of preparedness for the day that I am called home (Isaiah 55:6).
May God bless you and keep you this week!
Matt